SPAM I AM ONCE SCORNED, THE CANNED MEAT IS STARRING ON BROADWAY & ON YOUR PLATE

IN a city of four-star restaurants, Spam is ready for its close-up.

Love it or hate it, the canned mystery meat is in the spotlight thanks to “Monty Python’s Spamalot,” the hot-ticket musical opening tomorrow at the Shubert Theatre, where fans of the Spam-centric comedy troupe scoop up special collector’s versions of the Hormel product.Not only that, a new restaurant downtown is serving Hawaiian dishes made with Spam.Monty Python first did their part to immortalize the porky blocks – a staple of troops during WWII – during their ’70s heyday.

A favorite skit on “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” featured a waitress offering only variations on Spam for breakfast – the Spammiest being Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam.

In the bit, Vikings sing “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam,” drowning out all other talking in the area (which is said to be where the name for all that unwanted e-mail comes from).

My own Spam initiation remains a little fuzzy, and maybe that’s a good thing. Most likely Mom reached for it when the household budget needed squeezing. I remember regarding the glistening pink brick with some suspicion. After all, meat came from animals, not cans.

And what was with that film of gelatin? This weird, compressed pork mosaic with its salty-sweet taste didn’t resemble any meat I knew.

Spam didn’t cross my mind again until a trip to Hawaii, when I was surprised to find small, sushi-like bundles crowned with the stuff at the cash register of a roadside quick stop. It turns out that those morsels – called musubi – are a favorite of Japanese Americans on the islands.

They serve musubi at the recently opened L&L Hawaiian Barbecue on Fulton Street – an offshoot of a Hawaiian chain – along with Spam Saimin (noodle soup) and traditional island plate lunches. A second location on Eighth Avenue at 35th Street is due to open next month.

Didn’t know Spam was an island favorite? Here are some other things you might not know about Spam.

Q: Where does the name come from?

A: Spam is short for “spiced ham.” The contest winner who came up with the name won $100 in 1937, shortly after the product was invented.

Q: What on earth is it?

A: Pork, ham, salt, water, modified potato starch, sugar and sodium nitrate. There are seven varieties in addition to the “classic”: hickory smoked, with cheese, low sodium, garlic, hot & spicy, turkey and Spam Lite.

Q: What’s the deal on this limited edition Python Spam?A: It’s called Spam Golden Honey Grail, and costs $10 a can at the Shubert Theatre. You can also pick it up at some ShopRite, A&P and Pathmark stores for less.

Q: Spam makes me feel like singing. Has it ever been celebrated in song?

A: Spam tunes including “Spambalaya” and “Stand By Your Spam” can be heard at the Church of Spam Web site (http://www.vivalasvegastamps.com/spam.html).

Q: Have any poems ever been written about the porcine pressed meat?

A: Over 19,000. You can find that many Spam haikus, or “Spam-ku’s,” at http://mit.edu/jync/www/spam/, where they’ve been archived by an MIT researcher, John Nagamichi Cho. Cho has also compiled 150 of his favorites in a book, “Spam-ku: Tranquil Reflections on Luncheon Loaf.” A sample: “I hear the Spam ball / It bounces porqua porqua / a haiku of spring.”

Q: What does a decaying block of Spam look like?A: Until recently, that sight could be seen on the Web via a real-time Spam Cam – sadly, the site is no more. Those who did see it claim at the end it was mostly mold.

Q: Who are the world’s biggest Spam fans?

A: Spam is sold in some 100 countries, but it’s most popular in Hawaii, where residents eat an average of four cans per person per year. Spam is also prized in South Korea, where it’s considered a delicacy.

Q: Where can I learn more about Spam?A: There’s a 16,500-square-foot Spam Museum in Austin, Minn., Hormel’s hometown. Opened in 2001, it houses 4,752 cans of Spam from around the world throughout its history, and a letter from former President Dwight D. Eisenhower praising Spam for its role in WWII. The Soviet Union’s Nikita Khruschev also praised Spam after the war, saying, “Without Spam we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”

Q: How much Spam does Hormel turn out every year?

A: The Minnesota plant produces 435 cans per minute. As of 2002, that added up to 6 billion cans of Spam.

Q: Wow. What could I do with all that Spam?

A: Well, if you laid them end-to-end, you could circle the globe 15 times.

Q: Any other foods you’d recommend to someone who can’t get enough meat in a can?A: The Armour company has a similar – but nowhere near as famous – product called Treet.

Q: Do they actually talk about Spam a lot in “Spamalot”?

A: Not really – it just gets a handful of mentions in one song.

Just add Spam

YOU know that popular Food Network contest where a secret ingredient is popped on stellar chefs who then vie to transform it into the most wonderful dishes? We presented a few of the city’s best chefs (and best sports) the ultimate ingredient challenge: Create a dish using Spam.

Take this, Iron Chefs!

Crispy Spam Banh Mi(from Chef Gypsy Gifford at Rain [100 W. 82nd St., at Columbus Avenue])

1 can Spam

4 French baguettes

½ cup sugar

½ cup rice vinegar

1 cup carrot, julienne

1 cup daikon radish, julienne

1 cucumber, julienne

1 small red onion, sliced thin

2 jalapeno (or long) chilies

1 bunch cilantro sprigs

Mayonnaise (Kewpie brand, if possible) to taste

Combine sugar and vinegar. Pour over carrot and daikon and marinate for at least one hour, or overnight.

Slice Spam to the desired width and fry as directed on side of tin.

Slice baguettes lengthwise and toast in hot oven or toaster oven.

Assemble sandwiches by spreading baguettes with mayonnaise – be liberal – come on, it’s going with Spam!

Lay the fried crispy Spam in the baguettes; top with a generous amount of the carrot and daikon salad, cucumber, red onion, jalapeno & cilantro sprigs. Serve with a big icy glass of Coca-Cola.Four servings.

Spam Musubi(Hormel’s version of the dish served at L&L Hawaiian Barbecue)

2 slices Spam

3 ounces cooked white rice, seasoned with furikake (see note) and toasted sesame seeds, if desired

1 tablespoon sweet ginger sesame sauce

2 pieces nori (see note)

In a large skillet, brown Spam until it is lightly browned and crisp. Place half of the rice into a musubi press or a small Spam can. Drizzle with ginger sauce. Place one piece of Spam on the rice and press.

Remove Spam and rice from the musubi press. Place on sheet of nori (shiny side down) and wrap. Repeat with rest of ingredients.

Serve immediately. Makes two.

Note: Furikake is dried seaweed with seasoning used in Japanese cooking. Nori is paper-thin slices of dried seaweed. Find them in Japanese markets or specialty sections of large supermarkets.

Spam Eggs Benny Sauce American

(From Chef Merrill Moore at Nonna [520 Columbus Ave., at 85th Street]) Ingredients:

cup prepared hollandaise sauce, warm

1 cup ketchup

1 slice white bread

2 eggs

4-inch slices of Spam

1 pinch of parsley

salt and pepper

Add one-half cup of ketchup to hollandaise sauce.

Toast bread. Fry Spam according to directions on side of can. Poach Eggs in simmering pan of water.

Place bread on plate. Top with Spam, then eggs. Drizzle sauce over all.

Garnish with parsley, salt, pepper and remaining ketchup. Serves one.

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